FCIArtbank - is Fertility Care India - ART Bank

Sunday, November 3, 2013

contacting our kids surrogate mums not going to happen

In response to http://fciartbank.blogspot.com.au

FYI - FCIArtbank - is Fertility Care India - ART Bank. Saurhab Kumar owns this agency and he has been involved with providing surrogates and egg donors to SCI Healthcare since its incepetion, 2009. I met him on a few occasions and he struck me as a lovely and kind man with the women who are recruited as surrogates and egg donors though his agency. I personally saw him with our surrogate Rani, who carried our Toby, at our final scan in June 2010. He was just so lovely in every way. Why he would now let down surrogates and donors and parents, is beyond me, I guess too much money makes everyone a grub.

From Saurhab's blog written in his own words:

Do Good and Cast in River ( Don't Expect Anything In Return) :: Neki Kar Dariya Mein Daal

I have been quiet for so long but now I wish to make some clarifications. I know that I will be very badly attacked and all cut and paste and put on website and all bad words said which is why many people may stay quiet on Megan Sainsbury. 


 
I will always defend myself and defend my family. One day when my kids are old enough to understand how they were brought into his world, this blog will have disappeared. If it ever surfaces, in any way, shape or form, I will honestly be able to tell them how they were born, and if they ever want to contact Rani or Mithu, I will honestly be able to say to them that the clinic who created them - SCI Healthcare - that I did so much to promote and support, including its surrogacy agent - YOU SAURHAB, got in the way of caring about Toby and Mishali's birth mothers and refused to do anything to foster a potential relationship between my beautiful children and the women who carried them into life.

 I run an ART Bank from more than 4 years. One of our team member  Megan left us few months back. She worked with us more than 3 years and during her working period she blessed with 2 cute babies via surrogacy (God Bless them). Her surrogates visit us  and I speak to them on phone, they  ask about the babies and about her. I always praise her. I have very good thought for her.


If you talk to our surrogate mothers and praise me, then why is it so hard for you to give me their contact details, or for you to ask them to contact me. That is all I wanted. i would love to be in touch with Rani and Mithu, but SCI has always prevented this, and now you are doing the same. You know that the address on every surrogacy contract is the accommodation at SCI, and you and I both know that Rani never stayed there, and I am okay with that. Mithus, I don't know. I can tell you, I have sent a letter to that address to Rani and one to Mithu, and there has been no response. This is why I have asked you to try and contavt them for me.

 

Now I am ashamed to tell them what Megan has done which is publicly writing that her babies are from a cess pit.


I don't think you are ashamed at all Saurhab. You know the truth - in no email or any blog post have I ever stated that my babies comes from a cess pit. Where did you get these words from? You did not get them from me. My babies are not from a cess pit, this is not something I would ever think much less say.  The term cess pit has never entered my mind, YOU brought up the words cess pit, not me. So please, give me some written proof where I have stated I think my surrogates mothers and my babies have come from a Cess Pit. If you are going to make such disgusting claims in public, you should back them up. Please provide some proof, and if you can't, then please big man enough to apologise to me.
 The very sad thing about you claiming this Saurhab, is that you state in your public blog that you "had" to tell our surrogates Rani and Mithu, that I said as such. You know I did not, and even if I did, would you care so little about surrogates that you would pass this on to them?  


We deal with number of surrogates and having rented 170+ apartments and according  our need, where surrogates live during their pregnancy. 


Back in 2009 when our blessed Rani carried out beloved Toby, I was told after the fact that she lived in her own home This came from Shivani's own mouth, I was fine with that! Now Shivani tells people "do you really think we have 180 apartments for pregnancy surrogates (as promoted by SCI) Add to this vraious embassies, UK in particular, trying to track down surrogate mothers through the SCi accommodation address, well when those surrogates actually go to  give their statement to Uk High Commission, they do state they never stayed in the apartments. It is actually okay that they don't all stay there, but please be honest with intended parents about who is in accommodation and who is not. 


 As we know that anytime IP may have need to contact their surrogate mother (may be for legal purpose or may be to know their well being) so for contract, we provide our main home address.  On our mail IP can do correspondence even after long time of delivery and we always revert them accordingly. We understand feeling of all IPs for their surrogate mothers.


As you know i have been with SCI for some time, anytime anyone wanted to get in contact with surrogate mother, they were denied.This is fact. You cannot deny this fact. Many people do want to be in contat with the amazing woman who gave birth to their children, as I do but we are all prevented, apart from a special few where they are given full access if they do a nice photo opportunity to promote SCI.  Saurhab, think what you like, but SCI/Shivani does not agree with contact with surrogate mothers, for whatever her reason is. It is just sad for parents they can't do this, while some can if they give back to SCI. I can tell you at least 20 cases of cleints wanting to be in contact with their surrogate mothers, all were denied. I don't even think you are aware of this, and I think if you were, maybe you would facilitiate this, but SCI doesn't not support this. Everyone who has emailed me in the past 4 years is told, "Your surrogate does not need to be disturbed". That is okay, but please don't bullshit about everyone being able to have contact with their surrogate mother. 

 

Now Megan has doubt whether her surrogate has ever been stayed on that given address or not. During Her pregnancy she never bothered but now suddenly she believed rumors and spreads rumors without any basis and need for contact has been occurred.


Which pregnancy is this? Toby's with Rani, or Mithu's with Mishali? Yes, I have tried, and you have no proof that I haven't. If you really cared about surrogates you supposedly care for, you would know I gave gifts, and money to Ranbi when we tried for Mishali in November 2011, approx AUD $1800 was to go to Rani, I have all the records, would you seriously like to challenge me about this? We also gave money in the same amount to our beloved egg donor R - did you know about this? I suspect you don't. Go and check this out with Gaurav, and if you don't believe me, then please be honest and God fearing enough to find put the facts I have the facts in invoices and emails to prove this, but I guess you don't want to open your eyes to the fact SCI never sent this money to Rani or to our donor R.   

 

Never bother for surrogate who miscarried but when another IP met her she is bothered. She talks about her on the blog with no respect for surrogate or for the IPs .

Let's get a few facts into the picture here and now: I can only assume from this comment you are talking about Santosh. Santosh was our first surrogate back in November, 2009 when we had transfer to two surogates, Santosh and Rani. The pregnancy with Santosh didn't continue at 7 weeks. We were very upset and at that time were very concerned for Santosh as we knew she had given so much out of her life to help us.
Bob and I actually never met either Santosh or Rani face to face, as is the same for many people doing surrogacy in India or wherever. One thing Saurhab cannot state is that I was never bothered by the loss at 7 weeks, for the baby or for Santosh. If you would like to check with the SCI client who had her baby with the help if Santosh, if she bothers to remember she actually had her three children through surrogacy india, and allowed her face to be plastered all over SCI billboards and signs and on media, she may well attest that we had many phone conversations about Santosh, and in those conversation, I expressed by concern for Santosh, I wanted Santosh to feel okay and I most certainly sent many emails about my concern for her. 
 



 We did so much for her to make her family complete and after making her dream come true, now I am getting such kind of outcome. 


You are getting no kind of outcome ...  I asked for contact with Rani and Mithu, I asked this of Shivani well before I asked you. Shivani denied me, and you deny me. In denying me, you deny Toby and Mishali. And perhaps you also deny Rani and Mithu. Yes you made our family complete, but please ask what Rani and Mithu want. Only you can do that. 



From which organization she has got her bundle of joy suddenly that organization has got so many faults in it, because she is no more associated with that organization and because now she believed all rumors spread by Kim Hendrix and others.  Kim Hendrix telling all lies that he surrogate did not stay at home with FCI supervision. Kim also telling lies to us that she is case manager for SCI when she come to India two times this year. Also telling this after she goes back to USA with her babies. Also telling same to US Embassy and many patients. (see her public post that she stopped since Jan 2013 to work with SCI. On purpose hide this from everyone even after go back to USA with babies), now Kim Hendrix husband sending legal threats.


I have no business arrangement with Kim Hendrix or others. Why you bring others into my own personal need to contact Rani and Mithu is beyond my understanding. Say what you like about others, it has no bearing on the fact that I have asked you to put me in touch with Mithus and Rani. If they do not eant this, then I am okay with that. But given your behaviour I doubt you wold bother to contact either of them and tell them we would like to send siple photos and a card. 


We have no. of patients who had never faced any problem to communicate with their surrogate mothers after delivery. It is my responsibility too.


Well this is absolute rubbish Saurhab, perhaps SCI did not tell you of the many clients who wanted to stay in touch with their surrogates. No-one is allowed to contact their surrogate mothers after birth. In fact, the usual line from SCi is "your surrogate has gone back to her village" .. after a C-section, yeah right, 1-2 days after baby was born? What a load of crap.



We have another IP from the same country. She asked us to meet with her surrogate mother after two and half year of her delivery and we organized their meeting. If we can organize meeting with her surrogate then how our ex team member can claim that we have no contact with our surrogate mothers. They used the photos in a surrogate mother study so Megan is very angry and sudden need to contact her surrogate has occurred. 
It is heartbreaking and disappointing when you do everything and in revert instead of support you get nasty remarks from the other side.


Yes and we all know who this parent is, Kim H. from AUstralia. On all the bill boards and promotional material SCI pumps out to promote the relationships between parents and surrogates. What a load of tripe. I know she was most likely being supportive of SCI in doing this, but I really hopes she now knows she is the only one to have long term contact with her surrogate, as we discussed in emails in the past.